etrayamemes | TDM 006

TDM 006

⏵ arrival ⏴
Arrival is absolutely not normal this month. Instead of a hospital bed, you wake in a tunnel with a large group of other people. These are the residents. A woman’s voice in an earpiece hurriedly clues you in with an apology.

I apologize; I had not planned to introduce you this way, but we are low on time. Please proceed down the hallway.

An image of a shattered pearl pops up on your personal HUD and rotates.

I am Aurora. You are joining many others on Etraya in order to save your world from destruction by completing missions. Your current mission is to find the pieces of this object that have become scattered in the library ahead of you.

For everyone else, coming in is much the same. The instruction goes out to head to designated areas immediately, where companion bots will escort the residents of Etraya down into the depths, the area beneath where much the same is explained.

⏵ disrobing ⏴

The tunnel eventually opens directly into the foreroom of an expansive library, painted in marvelous hues and patterns with skylights far above. There are wizards milling about, bearded and holding tomes, quietly chatting amongst themselves.

The reception area of the library has tall ceilings with equally tall doors Before you get too caught up in the scenery, a voice directs you forward. A gentleman, hunched and bespeckled craws out.

"Make a line! Make a line, everyone! You cannot enter the library dressed as you are... Come forward and give me your name."

The receptionist asks your given name and then hands over a box from underneath his counter. You can give him any name you want, he doesn’t seem to mind. It is tied with a tagged ribbon- labeling it accordingly. “The _____ robe of _______.”

	(First Letter of Given Name)				(Last Letter of Given Name)
A	Controlling	N	Helpful	A	Melodies	N	Light
B	Glimmering	O	Floating	B	Discretion	O	Mind-Reading
C	Wet	P	Handsome	C	Growth	P	Climbing
D	Gruesome	Q	Gullible	D	Grasping	Q	Jumping
E	Observant	R	Ratty	E	Flying	R	Hurting
F	Powerful	S	Adhesive	F	Reading	S	Guiding
G	Psychedelic	T	Sweltering	G	Dancing	T	Bug-Speaking
H	Swift	U	Cheerful	H	Shouting	U	Exploding
I	Voracious	V	Anxious	I	Extracting	V	Complaining
J	Soft	W	Likeable	J	Punishing	W	Dividing
K	Keen	X	Ruthless	K	Creeping	X	Slapping
L	Fabulous	Y	Dramatic	L	Walking	Y	Charming
M	Fair	Z	Demonic	M	Listening	Z	Combustion

As you read what the contents of the box may be, they form inside- Looking and behaving as your character expects them to. After all, magic is all in the wielder’s mind.

Don your robes and enter the library.

⏵ unfamiliar familiars ⏴

For those without a familiar (like one hatched from an egg not too long ago) you may borrow one from the library counter. They all have strengths and weaknesses, but they will all assist in the very important mission. As you roam the library, they will make little indications that you are closer or further from finding a piece of the pearl.


Pro	• Hardworking • Gives correct directions 75% of time • Won’t run away from you	• Very affectionate • Gives correct directions only when paired with another rat, toad, or personal pet.	• Gives correct directions 90% of the time
Con	• Must feed bookworms	• Will run away if too close to a cat	• Does not care for you • Sleepy • Will run ahead • Gets distracted by rats

⏵ the task at hand ⏴

With robes donned and creature in hand, you must now complete your mission. Find the pieces of the shattered pearl. As you enter the library, you may notice that it’s all very dim. There’s oil lamps around the place that may be moved with you to assist in your journey if your robes do not already emit light.

Break off and search the library. There is a directory at the front to point guests to all the different sections.

	Wings of the Library
A	General Works	B	Music
C	Philosophy, Religion	D	Fine Arts
E	History, Auxiliary Sciences	F	Language and Literature
G	Magic, General	H	Science
J	Geography, Anthopology	K	Medicine
M	Agriculture	N	Hobbies, Recreation
P	Social Science	Q	Military
R	Political Science	S	Practical Arts
T	Law	W	People
X	Education	Y	Spiders

Each section looks enough like the last, though the books within have immense power. Pick up the wrong book, and you might conjure a dragon or a historical figure! You must persist and avoid making too much noise or breaking too many things.

Or else the Librarian, a tall mass of knotted fabric will confiscate your robe and usher you back outside. Your name will be struck from the list, and you must pick a new one to re-enter the library to continue the search.

You can try to fight back against him- he may be set alight with the lamp. But should you be starting fires in here?

⏵ NOTES ⏴

Any thread with 15 comments between you and another may be submitted to find a piece of the pearl. There are 20 pieces altogether, and we will determine if the mission was successful by March 28th. A post will go live on the OOC comm for this!

This mission occurs out of time, similar to how the spaceship had. Meaning, those currently in game can experience these events any time between now, and March 14th.

Please direct all questions to our mod queries comment!

⏵FULL NAVIGATION⏴

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[As Connor flushes more of the venom from his system, he's starting to feel sensation in his face, his fingers, and as soon as he can move his mouth again he works out,] Hank. Don't. Flushing. System.

[It should end soon, but he needs to keep the flow of thirium open or else the venom could back up in his system. Or worse, get onto Hank's hands.]

Okay, okay.

[Some sort of venom, then. So Hank is just supposed to sit here while Connor is bleeding out. Fantastic.

He drops his hand from Connor’s back, which goes against just about every instinct he has. But Connor knows his body best, and Hank has to trust him.]

Just... look at me, if you can, okay?

[He cups Connor’s cheek with one hand. The other patting his hair as Hank leans over him.]

Just keep looking at me.

[And if Connor stops, then... that’s when Hank will know they’re in even more trouble.]

Edited 2025-01-31 03:53 (UTC)

[Connor gives the slightest nod as Hank pulls his hand away. He looks up at Hank as his body does what it's meant to do. There's one last round of the flushing and then the thirium flow comes to a slow drip and stops. Connor's eyes twitch and then center again and then his mouth jerks from side to side. His legs and feet come back online and sure, he might be a bit low on thirium, but it's manageable for now.]

I apologize for alarming you, Hank. My systems needed to remove the venom.

[Connor slowly sits back up and looks up into Hank's eyes.]

Thank you for saving my life.

I didn’t do shit, I just...

[Hank returns Connor's gaze. Brow twitching before he’s pulling him into another hug.

Mostly for himself. Selfish. So Connor can’t see the agonized expression on his face.]

Is your back okay? Wound all closed up?

[Connor is about to state that Hank clearly did more than nothing if the wizards are trying to control a fire in the section, but Connor's still getting control of his mouth back. He's pulled into another hug and Connor feels safe again (and wonders if he should feel safe.). One arm after the other is curled around Hank in return.]

It should repair itself in a few hours.

[But with the venom gone, he's out of the woods.]

If I may, Hank, you did much more than 'shit.' I was... I was afraid no one would come.

[No. Fear is a trait of deviants, he cannot have been afraid. Perhaps it was the venom messing with his systems.]

Why would you think no one was gonna come?

[The weird wizards might not care about Connor, but Hank does.]

I was right here. And I... should’ve come in sooner. [He squeezes his eyes shut. One hand at the back of Connor’s head.] And I’m sorry. But of course I was gonna come in after you. Did you think I was just gonna walk off? Go do fuck all and hope for the best?

It must have been the venom. [Being paralyzed like that had been-- does he dare think it?-- terrifying. Unable to move, unable to call for help. If Hank had not shown up when he did, Connor may have even been eaten.

But all this fear, it's a clear sign of his escalating deviancy. He'd been afraid to die, but he knows androids are not alive. It is a clear contradiction in his programming.]

It made me feel that fear.

[Didn't Connor want his ass beat earlier? Well boy howdy.]

Connor, I think that was just you. The venom did its thing, yeah. But you —

You wanted to live. Like those girls back at the Eden Club. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling that.

[Hank can’t help but rock Connor a little in his arms.]

Nothing wrong with that, and don’t you let anyone tell you different, okay?

[Connor thinks back to the Eden Club and Carlos Ortiz's android. He remembers them describing their fear to him and now he knows what that feels like, too. To feel alive, to not want that life snuffed out.

I am alive.

No, he isn't alive. That's impossible.]

I can't feel fear. I'm not a deviant. [But boy is he getting close. The rocking actually helps to soothe the fear, reduce his thoughts of being paralyzed like that.]

But you did feel fear, Connor.

And I don’t care if you’re a deviant right now — I just want you safe.

[Hank thinks about how Connor’s predecessor told him they can’t really die here. That they come back.

And it might have been Vincent who mentioned — or gave him the idea, anyway — that they lose something upon each return.

Hank wanted that, once. Wanted it so badly. To lose everything about himself.

But for Connor? No. Not a thing. Not a single thing is Hank willing to let Connor lose.]

[It's true, Connor had just confessed it. Emotion is just an error in programming, right? And fear is an emotion.

But he did feel fear. Feeling such a thing would require him to be alive, to be a deviant. His programming is once again in lime mode, trying to shove down that memory of being webbed up and unable to move. That didn't happen, he didn't feel that fear.

I am alive.]

I did not mean to be unsafe, Hank.

[Connor is having a hard time processing and being part of this conversation now. He can see a wall in his processing, but he isn't sure if he's ready to knock it down.]

I know, Con. I’m not mad. I’m just... scared, too.

[Hank pets the back of Connor’s head before pulling away, offering him a shaky smile.]

We need to bandage up your back, or anything? If it’s gonna take a few hours to patch itself up.

[Scared. They were both-- the wall stops him from processing the emotion any further. Connor's LED flickers to red and remains there as Connor considers if he should tear down the wall or not. He felt fear, he felt a real, human emotion. That means he's alive. He's awake and alive.

He approaches the wall, but steps back once more. It was only a glitch in his hardware.

Connor's physically able to to support himself so, as Hank draws back, Connor remains sitting upright.]

It will close on its own in a few hours. No more thirium should come out.

All right.

[Hank eyes Connor a little warily. Not that he doesn’t trust him to tell the truth about all this; something just feels... off.

Although Hank could have lost Connor just then, even momentarily, so it makes sense he’s still feeling jittery.]

We’re gonna have to figure out where to get that blue blood of yours. [Yet another thing Hank never asked Connor’s predecessor — because he never thought he’d have to.]

[Sorry Hank, Connor's brain is busy with a few things. The wall remains in his processing and as Connor tries to mentally sidestep it again, he finds himself pressed up against it again. 'I am not alive' is written all over it, reminding him of Carlos Ortiz's android.]

Any Cyberlife store would have spare thirium.

Don’t think we got one of those here, Con. But we’ll figure it out.

[Is that what Connor’s worried about?? Because Hank’s worried about it.

But he’s worried about a lot of things in relation to Connor.]

That venom still... gettin’ to you?

[Connor is quiet until Hank asks about the venom. There's a piece of Connor that wishes everything was as simple as removing venom from his system. But, he can't wish for things, can't want them, can't like them. All of those actions belong to a deviant.

Mentally Connor steps back from the wall and tells himself that he is not a deviant, he is not alive, and it seems like the wall might finally be disappearing into the background.]

No. The deviant feelings are.

Connor...

[Hank sighs. Wishes he could help, but what the hell could he do that Connor can’t?]

Don’t push ‘em away. Let yourself feel. I’m sure it’s a whole process, and everything. But just try.

[He knows it contradicts so much of what Connor remembers, but:]

Would it be such a bad thing? Deviating?

[Connor is quiet again, this time longer. It all sounds so contradictory; they were hunting down deviants. However, he'd already begun to show signs of deviancy: allowing the girls at the Eden Club to get away, choosing to save Hank over catching a deviant.

And Kamski's experiment.

It's unsettling to think of all these moments and see the path he's taken.]

I have a mission. Deviating would result in my termination.

I told you — nobody’s gonna terminate you here. And if anybody tried, if anybody ever had a fucked up thought like that, I wouldn’t let them. Okay?

[Hank squeezes Connor’s shoulder again because... fuck. What else is he supposed to do?]

I know I really messed up back there, letting you go into the Spider room, of all places. And you got hurt. But that’s not... I’m never gonna just leave you to die, Connor.

[And he doesn’t want to tell Connor about the whole “hey, you can’t actually die here, sort of” thing, because Hank worries that he might end up putting himself in more danger because of it.

But somebody will tell him eventually, and it might as well be Hank.]

[No threat of termination, Connor files away. Hank reaches out and squeezes Connor's shoulder, but his gaze remains distant as his programming processes. His LED spins and spins and spins.

He showed empathy with Kamski's android, with the girls at the Eden Club. He's already deviating, he's already feeling emotions and wanting things.

It seems as if the next step into full deviancy is just a breath away. Would it be easy to tear down that wall? Or would it damage his programming to do so?]

I shouldn't be feeling emotions.

[But he does. He was afraid. He recalls the blue-haired Traci telling him, I was so scared. Is that not how he felt only a few minutes ago?]

I am not a deviant. [He tries to tell himself more than Hank.] I am not a deviant.

Listen. I’m not telling you to deviate.

[Hank wants Connor to find that in his own time — even if Connor spacing out does unsettle him.

Is he getting closer? Farther?]

But if you’re not gonna be terminated, which you aren’t — [Hank emphasizes this with another soft squeeze of Connor’s shoulder] — then...?

What are you so afraid of?

[Is he afraid? And if he is afraid, what is he afraid of? Hank has already said that no one will terminate him. Amanda is not present in his mind palace to scold him for not completing his mission. And there is always a back door in Kamski's programs.

What is there to be afraid of? Who is he really? Is he just a machine or is he a living being with feelings?

The wall is back, glitched out and buzzing in his programming. I am not alive is displayed in large red sections all across the wall. Other smaller sections read Feelings are an error in programming.

He tears down one piece then another, but then stands back when he looks at the final piece on the wall. I am not alive.

I am not alive.

I am not alive.

Connor steps back from it.]

Hank, would you consider me alive?

Yeah. Yeah, of course I would.

[Not that it really matters what Hank “considers.” Because Connor’s just alive, plain and simple. He feels things. Wants things.]

You were saying earlier you wanted to be family. And I know you’re hung up on the whole “wanting” thing, but family too — if you weren’t alive, would that even be...?

You’ve got your mission and everything, sure. But family's special. Real special. And I think you know that.

[You are alive. It clashes directly with his core programming You are not alive.

The last piece of the wall stands in front of him, red and angry.]

I do.

[Connor's internal self reaches up for that last piece and pulls. He pulls and pulls but it doesn't budge. The lieutenant confirmed it, he is alive, but why can't he pull down this last piece? Is it because he's not ready to be considered deviant? Is he afraid?

The red light of Connor's LED flickers back from red to blue as he steps back from the wall one more time.]

I am not alive. [He says it less firmly, unsure, tired.]

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cw: description of paralysis, more spiders

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cn: mention of suicide ideation

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